Welcome to Fakahatchee
Fakahatchee is a bustling little town nestled just off the coast in the middle of the Florida Everglades. We've got everything you could possibly want here in a small town: an occult candle shop, multiple gator parks, sandwich shops, and a bustling main street.
even a Shoney's*!
*Shoney's is currently closed as it's been quarantined and cordoned off by the US Government.
We even have our own small radio station, KFAK Fakahatchee Radio, that transmits out across the Western tip of the Florida coast. Their two most popular shows are Good Morning Sun Buns w/ Tiffany Bunzel and NightDrive a late night radio call in show that airs at one in the morning hosted by Horace Wexler
If you think Florida on its own is ridiculous- wait until you hear who calls in from this small town in the dead of night and what they're angry or passionate about.
Fakahatchee Web Ring
Fakahatchee is home to a variety of businesses and non-profits:
The Fakahatchee Gazette - The digital location of Fakahatchee's newspaper. Keeping you abreast of all the news that happens in Fakahatchee. "Just like a football player or a porn star when it comes to news The Fakahatchee Gazette goes deep."
The Spanktuary - Run by Father Jonah Likely, The Spanktuary was voted 'Florida's Sexiest Church' five years running. Drop in for four dollar shots and a shot at salvation.
People For Ghosts - A locally based non-profit focused on obtaining rights and justice for poltergeists and spirits especially those who have been affected by the mayor's recent legislation.
Claws of Justice- Atty. Mike Hammer, legal council for 'The Lobster King' wants to keep you informed on the King's search for justice as it works its way through the appeal process and also sell you Lobster King leggings.
Key West Wines - We all know the debonair Puce Higgins from his performances with the Fakahatchee Community Players but have you tried his Chardonnay with actual flavor crystals in every glass? Or any of his other delicious wines?
Blip - A local business that wants to help you achieve the whitest teeth you've ever seen. Whiter than Congress. Proud sponsor of NightDrive
Demolition Derby Plus - The #1 streaming site for those that love to watch cars thrash and smash featuring high profile celebrity programming. The first month is free!
Testiculhair.com - Testiculhair wants to work with you to remove your male pattern baldness and put hair back on your genitals. Proud member of the Fakahatchee Chamber of Commerce.