Join Us For Our Big Fat (m)Ass

Live Nude Dancers, DJ Cum-union, Confession and Fellowship 

Wednesday

7pm - 12 am

Thursday

7pm - 12 am

Friday

5pm to 2am

Saturday

5pm to 2am

The Lord's Day

Closed

Stay Close To Jesus, No Matter Where You Are
Even If You're Face Deep in a Stripper's Bosom.

Hi! I'm Father Jonah Likely. It struck me one day during an intense prayer session that I cannot protect my flock from sin. Sin will always find us, as we go about our daily lives. However, if sin was going to be there, I decided that I was going to be right there also- to protect the sinners from Satan's ways.

 

So I founded 'The Spanktuary' - 'Florida's Sexiest Church' five years running with Live Nude Dancers, a nightly DJ and a Bar filled with top shelf liquors. Now when things get lit and my congregation gets 'turnt' I'm right there to turn the dial back for Jesus.

Praise

Jesus is an unbelievable ally. He loves you unconditionally. no matter what you do or who you do or how dark and loud it was when you did it. He died for your sins. The least you could do is sin a little to make his sacrifice have been worthwhile. If you sin too much- DON'T WORRY I'm right here for you to confess so you can reunite yourself with His holy love.

Sin

30 beautiful Miami-tier dancers sharing all of the assets that God gave them- Shredded abs and big back ends like a forbidden apple. Just like Eve when she was created from Adam's rib, all of The Spanktuary's dancers are totally nude. We think it's good to appreciate his works and give praise to a heavenly body.  

Confess

When you've sinned your fill and turned your eyes away from the Lord in shame, I will be right here to pick you back up and deliver you back into his grace. In fact, confession is mandatory upon your exit.

Visit

We're currently open 4 nights a week for you to drop in, get your drink on and celebrate God's boundless love and mercy.

The other three nights are about giving back to the community and helping support those in our community who are the most vulnerable.