About The Spanktuary

When you're Florida's sexiest church people love to talk about you

Here's some of their words on how we spread God's word.

GQ-

"A religious experience you won't soon forget... absolute sensory overload... I tithed over and over until I was spent and exhausted."

Details-

"While the outside is unassuming, once you step through the door it's immediately apparent how different this church is and that's before you're pounding Casa Migos with the padre."

Maxim-

"Sister Charity laid hands on me and then so did Sister Cashmere... I went back for 'services' every day that week... We'll probably rank all the Sisters at The Spanktuary in an upcoming issue."

Good Housekeeping

We went and then we came, in that order... I've never been so wet in my life. Absolutely sopping.

Our Pastor

Fr. Jonah Likely

Pastor

Six years ago, Fr. Jonah was frustrated. The sinners in his parish would sin and then be forced to live with it until their next confession, sometimes that was just a day but that was still too long.

Which is when it struck him like a bolt from the heavens- if church and sin were to occur in the same place, his congregation would always leave closer to God than when they arrived. You might call it inspiration but he would call it a message from the most holy on high.

So with that message in his heart and several dufflebags full of cash he received from some very interested Cuban members of his parish, he set out to do God's work and established The Spanktuary. The first year was tough but he persevered and now The Spanktuary's flock has grown ten-fold.