We Got Em! Last Person Who Hasn't Seen Hamilton Caught, Burnt
There were no tears in the square of public opinion as the offender was doused in gasoline before going up in flames.
At around 8pm last night the pop culture police caught the culprit, one Jordan McKipper skulking in an alley like the dirty piece of trash he is. While the operation was held in secrecy it didn't take long for the public to become aware and start mobbing the cordoned off scene. A few scuffles broke out as the police attempted to control the scene before shrugging and saying, "whatchu goin do?" An uber driver nearby who saw the whole thing stated-
“I thought they would've done something with a shot because of the song but... I guess someone just had a gas can so that was the easiest option.”
Jordan McKipper leaves behind a wife and daughter who have both seen Hamilton multiple times, possess the soundtrack, and follow Lin Manuel Miranda on twitter.