Shelby HiggenbottomFeb 24, 20211 minCrumbler Farms Declares BankruptcyCrumbler Farms Bankrupt By Hank Crimbo Family-run grocery store Crumbler Farms has recently found itself in a struggle to survive....
Shelby HiggenbottomFeb 24, 20212 min'Five O'clock here' Five O'Clock AlwaysA New Mayor's New Decree By Shelby Higgenbottom The crowd cheered and faces lit up when Mikey DuSoleil was declared the new mayor of...
Shelby HiggenbottomJan 13, 20212 min Weird Weather Paints Town Red; Citizens Shocked As Sky ScreamsWeird Weather Paints Town Red By Shelby Higgenbottom Citizens of our town were shocked and stunned earlier this evening when just after...
Shelby HiggenbottomJan 13, 20211 minSix Million Dollar Grant Issued By President to Answer Question: 'Is Hot Dog Just An Antifa Taco?'By Hank Crimbo President Trump still has plenty of time in office before the inauguration of president-elect Joe Biden and he seems to...
Shelby HiggenbottomJan 13, 20211 minBaysbahn Body Confirmed MurderBy Hank Crimbo A recent body of an unidentified individual found lying in a pool of red liquid has been ruled a murder according to...
Shelby HiggenbottomNov 9, 20201 minScreaming Into Void Unlikely to HelpNASA based scientists issued a startling report today based off recent experiments performed by American Astronauts conducted onboard the...
Shelby HiggenbottomNov 9, 20201 minBody Found Behind Baysbahn PropertyAccording to a spokesman for the sheriff’s department a body was found behind Baysbahn Mercantile at five o’clock this morning. The body...
Shelby HiggenbottomNov 9, 20202 minMastica Ennui Transmission Levels Hit New LowTransmission Levels of Disease Plunge By Shelby Higgenbottom It seems like we in Fakahatchee might be just a little bit safer for this...
Shelby HiggenbottomSep 6, 20201 minDigging Tools Seen Moving In To Shoney'sDigging Tools Seen Moving In To Shoney's By Shelby Higgenbottom Eyewitnesses outside the cordoned off area outside the Shoney's...
Shelby HiggenbottomSep 6, 20202 minNew Breed Of Bars A Ticking Time Bomb For Public SafetyNew Breed of Bars Bring Boomers to Briden By Shelby Higgenbottom During the day most of them sit empty and lonely looking over a...
Shelby HiggenbottomAug 9, 20202 minCITY ERUPTS OVER MAYOR'S MURDERCITY ERUPTS OVER MAYOR MURDER By Shelby Higgenbottom Many are mourning the death of Mayor Luis Vaminos this week and yet many more...
Shelby HiggenbottomJul 11, 20201 minMAYOR FOUND DEAD INSIDE KILLER WHALEBy Shelby Higgenbottom Early this morning around 2am, Sheriff Bud Nichols called popular radio show 'NightDrive.' His hope was to talk...
Shelby HiggenbottomJul 11, 20202 minWHALE STINK SHOWS NO SIGN OF STOPPINGby Hank Crimbo Thursday night the wind shifted. "I think that's when it got particularly nauseating," said Melinda Grub. "I found...
Shelby HiggenbottomJun 12, 20202 minSCUDDDDD fever sweeps FakahatcheeFakahatchee loves to embrace the new. If it's fast, shiny or interesting our citizens will be on it. Sure some of our past obsession...
Shelby HiggenbottomMay 15, 20202 minMayor Luis Vaminos is MissingNothing has perplexed the citizens of Fakahatchee more than the sudden and mysterious disappearance of our local mayor. Mayor Luis...
Shelby HiggenbottomApr 15, 20202 minPilot Priest Who Sprayed Town With 'Holy Water' Arrested, Jailed.BY Shelby Higgenbottom Last week, Fakahatchee stood mouths open in terror as an unfamiliar crop duster flew over main street and began...
Shelby HiggenbottomMar 14, 20202 minMayor Has No Answers for Embezzled School BussesWhen's the last time you saw a school bus, Fakahatchee? Sure, our kids are still making it to and from school but when is the last time...
Shelby HiggenbottomFeb 29, 20201 minBreaking: Mysterious Plane Begins Spraying Even More Mysterious LiquidThe mysterious plane that's been circling overhead has begun spraying a weird substance. Citizens are urged to stay inside or wear the...
Shelby HiggenbottomFeb 11, 20202 minCrashing the PrimeTime Party with DemolitionDerby+: Review You have a lot of options for entertainment these days, so when Demolition Derby Plus (www.DemolitionDerbyPlus.xyz) shows up to the party...